Narvacan Myhometown

When the Editor asked me to write an article about the Filipino woman, I readily took on the task thinking that it was going to be easy. I realized too late that this was not the case, for to write about a Filipina is not only difficult but also could create some controversies among both our men and women folks. Surely it is not a topic that could win friends.

I have been away too long from our homeland to presume to know a great deal about the Filipina (the present day Filipina, anyway). However, I would attempt to define the Filipino woman as I have grown to know her in my early years of growing and becoming one myself. In an effort not to offend or be proven wrong by anyone, I decided to write down my own impressions of a typical Filipina from my own experience and knowledge of the different influences that have pervaded our way of life.

I grew up at a time when girls were taught to be pure, reticent and unassuming. Lest we forget, we are descendants of Maria Clara, the heroine in "Noli Me Tangere". A desirable trait in a woman was to be "mahinhin" which stands for demureness, sweet disposition, gentleness and obedience. As soon as I was old enough to know the difference between the sexes, I have been reminded by such admonitions such as "Men are not to be trusted. They are sneaky wolves in gentlemen's clothes ready to jump and devour once they have gained a girl's trust." As a result my socialization process has been quite limited. Because boys were considered as adversaries, developing any friendly or platonic relationship with the opposite sex was almost impossible. This was somehow compensated by the fact that I had three older brothers, although, this too can be a handicap!

In that old, traditional society where I grew up a man was expected to woo a woman and go through a difficult testing period. Courtship was a one way street, with the man always trying to ingratiate himself with gifts, attempts to visit, and developing good relationships with the family. Not only does he have to overcome the Filipina's indifference and indecision but also get in the good books of well meaning brothers or uncles. Somehow, brothers have a strong sense of responsibility for their sister's welfare so they take it upon themselves to look into a suitor's background. This involves an extensive research of one's achievements in school, work, and past and/or present "liaisons". Not to be ignored is the size of his bank account, or potential in this area. One then had to listen to relatives and family's assessment of a man, thus influencing one's decision to see or encourage a man. A girl who lives at home and has no other means of seeing him usually resorted to one of two things: discouraging a man's attempt to pursue his interest to the point of being rude or eloping with him. Both, however, are done in haste and, usually, followed by remorse.